I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
