I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
