just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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