I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize