And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
