You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
