Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
