I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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