i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
