Will you blow on my dice?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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