; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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