I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
