What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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