butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
third nipple confirmed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
