I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
