Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
