Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
