this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
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One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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