I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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