Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
