Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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