dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
