it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
