Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
