I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
