Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
