Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
