so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize