On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
