Whod you bang
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
