Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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