Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't turn off my feet"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
