This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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