now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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