You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Randomize
