i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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