she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize