i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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