You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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