3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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