I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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