quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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