I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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