I'm going to jail i love you
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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