At least make sure they are 18
Why
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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