I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize