So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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