Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
