If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
