how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
