wanna go halves on a baby?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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