You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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