i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
