He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
