I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
