the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize