I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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