I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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