Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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