haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
