She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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