If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize