Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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