the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize