I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
