Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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