i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
